A CS PhD’s Occupational Therapy Journey — Preface

There’s a joke saying the easiest way to piss off a PhD student is to ask “how’s your research going” 😂 Well, this can be true sometimes...

Yes, research is hard since it’s full of uncertainties and it requires diverse sets of skills that we were not trained for before the PhD program. It’s also well known that PhD students have some unique struggles that can be hard to understand by parents or friends (even therapists!) who haven’t gone through the PhD journey (e.g., PhDs: the tortuous truth by Nature).

My intended audience of the series are PhD students who already know this too well. :) So there’s no need to re-iterate the problem or anything. Let’s focus on the solutions instead, shall we? 😉

This series aims to explore one key question: what can we (PhD students) do to make our PhD lives happier? It’s a living document and I welcome all kinds of tips! The advice I write here is based on my own experience with Professor Kelcie Kadowaki during my Occupational Therapy (OT) sessions at the University of Southern California when I was a PhD student.

Notes 📜:
If you’re here for solutions, feel free to skip my story and jump to the table of content in the end. You can navigate to the topic of your interest there. This series is an ongoing project, so please be patient with me as I have a full-time job and I can only write in my spare time. But the silver lining is, you get to participate in this process! Shoot me a message or comment here on what you’d love to see in this series and I’ll prioritize those topics of interest! :)

Background Story

PhD mental health is a huge topic spanning many different aspects, and there are tons of discussions tackling this problem. However, as a fairly new PhD graduate (I got my PhD in 2020), I understand that PhD students have very limited time and the mental health resources can be so overwhelming, or it simply doesn’t apply to our unique situations. For example, one of the advice I got from a therapy session is “talk to your advisor to see what their expectations are, and maybe you don’t need to publish papers”. Hmm… huh? This advice of “doing less” might work for regular school work, like taking less course load when there’s too much on your plate, but doesn’t apply to PhD programs because we are the ones who want to publish more papers! Otherwise, why bother doing a PhD, right? :) The PhD expectation is very fluid. It’s not really about what your advisor’s expectations are, but rather what your own expectations are, and advisors are there to help you achieve your goals. As a PhD student, I don’t think the solution of “doing less” applies to our situations because we’re the ones who chose a PhD program after all (you didn’t expect getting the highest degree to be easy, did you? ;)).

So I didn’t continue my therapy sessions and this seems to be a very common experience among my peers. I talked to many PhD students and they all wanted to get some mental health help, but with no success. They either didn’t find the sessions helpful and stopped going (like me), or never had the time to actually get started (e.g., it takes time for the therapist to know you, and sometimes you have to call many numbers to figure out who you want to start the sessions with, which can be quite stressful ironically…).

But this didn’t stop me. I was determined to find a cure since this problem is so prevalent (sadly, many PhD students have mental breakdowns during the PhD program, including myself). And there you have it! I did the hard work and you can enjoy the benefits in this series ☺️ Long story short, after some hunting and research, I discovered that my university (University of Southern California) has something called “Occupational Therapy” (OT) that I’ve never heard of before. Instead of focusing on comforting your emotions, it focuses more on your behaviors (e.g., productivity, stress management, assertive communication). This is exactly what I was looking for! I don’t need someone to tell me “It’s fine and you don’t need to publish papers”, but I need someone to help me cope with the pressure and high standards I chose myself, and publish papers calmly and happily.

Lucky enough, my OT therapist Professor Kelcie Kadowaki had tons of experience working with PhD students and she was able to tailor each session based on what I needed the most at the moment, from productivity/stress management during deadline seasons, to discussing the meaning of life/core values to understand myself better and look beyond my PhD. It worked like a charm! So I wanted to share what I learned with you, and hopefully make your PhD more enjoyable as well!

Some notes before we get started 📜 :)

1. The intended audience are PhD students (Doctor of philosophy to be :)). I want to acknowledge up front that the problem we face is what I call a “luxury problem”. In fact, in the ancient times, philosophy is usually studied by the wealthy who are not struggling with any physical needs. So the struggles we face are lucky to have in a way, but it doesn’t mean we should just “get over ourselves”. Getting into a PhD program is not easy. This means every single PhD student worked very hard to be here and has what it takes to succeed. However, in reality, lots of PhD students suffer from imposter syndrome, mental health issues, and low self-esteem, no matter how successful they are viewed by others. Yes, I get it, and this is exactly why I wanted to share what helped me tremendously with you all!
2. I did my PhD in Computer Science at the University of Southern California, so I’m most familiar with EECS, but most of the advice should apply to any field. However, I do want to point out that PhD students in EECS have an advantage of finding high-paying jobs in industry easily. This is always an option and might work out even better for some people than getting a PhD (which pays very little). Everyone’s situation is unique, but as a general rule of thumb, you should know why you want to complete a PhD program and consider the cost & benefits. It could be a sunk cost for some people. You do not need to finish a PhD just because you started it. BTW, on a similar note, you can also change research topics and/or advisors, or even universities during your PhD. Or, you could take an absence or even quit altogether, and come back to it later when the timing is right. The options are unlimited. Design your own life that works the best for you. You know yourself the best :)
   (P.S., I personally enjoyed my PhD very much and I’m very glad that I did it! Of course I thought of quitting every now and then, and this is very normal. Please feel free to reach out if you want to hear my thoughts on the pros and cons of completing a PhD program)
3. There’s absolutely no “one size fits all” solutions as we are all very different individuals. In fact, even for the same person, what works for you can change overtime. This is why I loved my OT sessions so much because it was thought-provoking. Instead of giving you general advice, it provides tools for you to navigate what would work for you given a certain context you’re in. I still go back sometimes to adjust how I approach my current life! So please set aside sometime when reading the content of this series because it’s actually very interactive and fun. You will not just be reading it, but will need to do some thinking and exercises as well with the worksheets I’ll provide. You’re your own teacher. The best solution for you lies in yourself, and I’m hoping this series can help get that solution out! ;)

Table of Content

Note: this is a living draft with a tentative outline that is subject to change. Feel free to share your thoughts to help shape this series together! 🤗 And please be patient with me as I write very slowly lol

Chapter 1: During that deadline season, let’s get stuff done!

1. Stress Management [ Article Link ] — Done!
2. Time Management and Planning — Next?

Chapter 2: What do you want to do when you grow up?

1. Know thyself: identify your personal values
2. Life view vs. Work view
3. Career planning

Chapter 3: You’re not alone on your joyful journey

1. Build “decentralized” mentoring network
2. You’re the average of your 5 closest friends
3. Look beyond your comfort zone